Solaz's notes from the underground--

Q-notes from la reina

places 2 go at Planet Solaz

Q-Notes, the first 100 years:

2003

2002

2001

2000

1999

1998

1997

1996

December 1, 1999

i am so flattered that you care so much about what's going on in my life... and why i haven't updated my website in so many months.

i got a bit discouraged. i had several changes made, and this really long update/change to the prayer page. then my hard disk got magically messed up, royally ruined!!!

so, i bought another and started the long and grueling chore of rescuing what i could. then i got a new computer. it's been a tad discouraging.

anyway, i thought i would put up the few changes i have that didn't get quashed, and answer some of your questions.

no, i didn't die in the accident. i did finish my journal of the trip but lauren hasn't finished her entry yet, so that's why i haven't posted it. eventually she'll get to it.

i have two babies to take care of now, and they walk all over me!

i posted two more letters, one from philip and one from hta.

i have removed some of the pages because this is just too big a website for me to maintain. i do have a life, you know, that does not revolve around the internet. so, don't get too tweaked about it, i wasn't able to expand those pages the way i wanted so, i'd rather not have them up than continue to have poor pages floating out there. and anyway, i started a writer's workshop for aspiring writers and that's extended me as far as i want to be extended and stay sane.

this will be a strange christmas; my daughter is going east, the people i live with are going south, and i'm staying here with all the animals. this could be lonely, but then, i'm never alone, my Beloved is so kind and generous and loving. i will write more. i am writing another thing on prayer, but this is for my children... how to pray; and why.

this is the time of year we finally slow down and consider that once long ago, the Holy Spirit of God breathed upon the face of the earth for our benefit, out of His great love, and a Savior was born. how precious we are to Him, that He would do the impossible, just to keep us.

be blessed this christmas season, He ever waits and watches for every opportunity to show His love to us.

---yss

April 16, 1999

without faith, it is impossible to please God. so, i walk in faith; it's how i please Him--regardless of what others think, or say, or do, i will endure; i will persevere. i will walk in faith.

the longer i live with my Beloved, the more married to Him i become, the more i realize that i do not know Him as i wish to know Him, i do not love Him as i crave to love Him; i am not the woman i want to be, for Him. i do not obey, submit, give, relinguish, honor, persevere or endure enough to reflect His image in me; yet, He deigns to call me His prized daughter; His bride... this is a true mystery.

my credo: it's never too late to have a happy childhood! i got two envelopes from God today! one of them had $50 inside! (God saw that i needed something pretty...;-) the other contained a short note:

if i don't get a shot of culture soon, my soul's gonna shrival up. i see the san jose cleveland ballet is doin' what looks like a really fun thing: blue suede shoes, a tribute to elvis. hmmmm, a ballet tribute to elvis. i gotta see that! opera san jose is doing the merry widow. philharmonia baroque is doing haydn's the seasons. bay shore lyric is doing la traviata. northside theatre is doing midsummer's night dream.... $50 ain't gonna buy me this much culture. if i could get a date to the opera, or the ballet, then i can spend my $50 on a ticket to the other (i've heard the san jose cleveland ballet is superb). what's a girl to do...?
i haven't had a date in so long i can't remember what it is, exactly. sorta. is it still called a date?

"i've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind." -- emily bronte

i do not own an answering machine, i use the telephone company's messaging service. the only way to tell if i have messages, is to pick up the phone and listen for a stuttering dialtone. but my caller id blocker stutters when i pick up the phone. and, all too often i forget to pick up the phone.

i can be extroverted and a lot of fun to be with; and i enjoy being with people (not to mention running my mouth-board). but it is an enormous energy expense for me. so i want to come home, and soak in the quiet; turn off my telephone bell; not answer the door; not turn on the pc (or the tv, or the radio). let the stuff others give me in exchange for my energy, run out of my persona... as if oozing out from my very pores; and my skin and cells sponge-soak the still air.

not quite as easy to do living with a family of four children and their mother and father. i often miss my hide-away-cave, my quiet, lovely condo on the beautiful quiet lake...

"it takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else." --erma bombeck

my dearest Beloved is forcing me into more face2face contact with the touchstone of His heart: His children. but the pleasure of one... one2one... 1to1... is like apples of gold, and pomegranets of silver. this is the gold and silver for which i long so dearly. just one. one2one.

"they that wait on the Lord, shall renew their strength; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint, they shall mount up with wings like eagles." -- the prophet isaiah

it is my pleasure to pray and/or intercede several hours everyday; having studied everything i could get my hands on concerning prayer and intercession, i have compiled some of that information here.

i often fast when i pray, so i compiled some information on that subject as well, though i will be changing and adding to it.

i have been pondering mercy lately. but by no means am i finished considering it.

as you have probably noticed, i changed the front door. and because you've said (so often) how hard it is to find your way around so many pages, i created a search function, and a site map.

i posted new letters; one from jeff, so sure that redheads aren't all that great! and one from thom, an actor. i added a few stones from a year or so ago to my ebenezer.

i added my tiny, little tribute to rich mullins with a neat-o, keen-o pop-out links window.

i think all the pages are connected and reachable now by dynamic serverside menubars. the einstein and physics pages should be easier to get to, as well as the others that seemed so obscure and only accidently reachable.

i am still asked if i sell my artwork. so, i've decided to look into it.

i really do appreciate your "cards and letters" and i do carry your names to my "prayer closet." this life is very hard; and sometimes very scary. pray for me; endurance and perseverence are not light endeavors; neither are they easy.

--yss

February 17, 1999

i have discovered the perfect place to "run away" to... almost anywhere along the coast of california, that is, rt. 1. several times now, i have had the privilege of driving up and down rt. 1 and now i know; whenever my soul is weary, in pain or sorrow, or too weighed down, or dry... i shall drive immediately to where all my senses will be assaulted with the absolute, magnamimous granduer and imensity of God's sense of beauty. the mountains, hills, and ocean coast in california cannot be compared to what i knew on the east coast.

my Beloved has had me up and down the coast of this beautiful state, from los angeles to sacramento, and next to vancouver, washington.

i have made many changes around here; so many, i cannot list them here. please take time to look around and tell me if you like the changes. i apologize in advance: you will likely have to change all your bookmarks.