places 2 go at Planet Solaz

November 17, 1998

once upon a time, the queen went on an adventure... you can read all about the blood and guts and etc...

--yss

October 22, 1998

not long ago, a well-loved brother looked intently into my eyes...(i think he wanted my full attention). his eyes, gentle eyes, piercing into me; his words, alien words, falling in my ears:

"you are a bright light--shining like the sun. you illumine the beauty, nobility and glory in others; holding them up to the Father of all--showing them, telling them what they are to God. you have your "Father's" eyes. i quote you all the time."

"blessed are...; blessed are...; blessed are...;"

"this is for you, from your Beloved:
"blessed (happy, joyous, to be envied) are you when people insult you, revile and persecute you and say all kinds of evil things against you falsely on My account. be glad and supremely joyful, for your reward in heaven is great, strong and intense, for in this same way people persecuted the prophets who were before you."

remember?...that awful experience recently..." he continues...

i have added another poem to the Lover series.

i esteem c.s. lewis with highest regard (and love). in one of my favorites (the weight of glory) lewis talks about our responsibility to love. so moving is his collected discussions on the subject, which only reflect the outrageous import Jesus, The Eternal, The Beloved places on us loving each other, throwing ourselves into true love--fully, completely, unconditionally, i have opened a new section for poetry: Love Letters. (never wasted!)

go there quickly; eat, drink; for you cannot take in too much. think not "how foolish," nor condemn yourself with thoughts that ought else is of greater import. for love nailed Christ to a shameful cross; and just as holy are the feelings expressed in the Love Letters. if you are a dry, barren and thirsty desert, do not pass too quickly from them, rather, eat, drink and come alive. for just so, The Eternal loves you. and just so, would He write verse such as these, about His love for you.

are you giving love away like the sky gives the sun and rain? we're all looking for love. we all desperately need love. this life is hard and we need each other as never before. i adjur you, give all your love away. the more you give away, you will find that so much more is given to you. give away all your love... unconditionally.

my twin has written some extraordinary belles lettres. my friend, lawrence, sent me some of his poetry. and i have posted some poetry from andrew.

i have posted a letter from robin. actually, i may also post her second letter to me; she asked me how i manage in my everyday life to "fall more in love with Jesus; loving Him with all my heart, mind and strength." are you interested in my response?

did some of you ask me "you didn't really cut your hair, did you?" see for yourself.

i am moving to the other side of the world (almost). so i hope those of you who hold me so tightly in your hearts remember to hold me in your prayers before The Eternal... i am driving from one coast to the other.

--- yss

October 2, 1998

i have posted the next poem in the Lover series. tell me what you think... you should start at the beginning.

--yss

September 22, 1998

malaika has been staying with a friend while i have been sick or out of town. she has packed her bags several times to come home and is somewhat disgruntled that she had to unpack them for one reason or other. she sent me a letter which i posted on her page. do you think she's trying to tell me something?

September 10, 1998

in response to the many emails i get regarding abuse, i have updated the wounded heart pages and added another page.

September 5, 1998

lucky you! i have posted the first "Lover's Response" in the Lover series. this one is not written by me, but was given to harmony in response to the first two in this series. you should definitely start at the beginning.

August 30, 1998

my dear friend angie came to visit and nicholae took some cool pix of us and more of guess who?.

August 23, 1998

listening to rich mullins' poetry is breaking me, breaking me-- in ways i never knew even existed. i see Jesus in ways i never imagined. so i have started a new series of poems, the Lover Series. as always, under construction... i do not know how many will comprise the series.

you'll let me know what you think, of course.

--yss

August 12, 1998

hhmmm, how exciting my recent trip was! got to see some of you, didn't get to see some of you... my favorite poet was too swamped to see me (pout, pout); and i brought home a broken leg!

a lesson was learned, the hard way... i talked with my sherpa about betrayal, then studied the ultimate betrayal.

but hey, one of those big-deal companies in california says they'd like me to work for them... so i spiffed up my *resoom*... (this oughta get 'em all fired-up).

did i tell you about the other queen that lives with me?

--yss

July 20, 1998

hey, are you noticing that you are getting more frequent updates? and that i haven't complained in a while at least, nor whined about my health... well, the party's over

i had one of the most unfortunate and sad conversations i have had in a very long time this past weekend. it left me bereft, and sick that we so easily choose the less noble way. i pondered how it came to be... but i could not discover other than to say that sly dog, our enemy, ever so ready to pounce on our weaknesses, mis-spoken words, unspoken words. and i came away from it ever more convinced (not to mention relieved) that our God is in absolute and complete control no matter how well or how poorly i communicate.

my Beloved breathes and the heavens tremble. He sighs and universes are born. He knits His mighty brows and eons die--and eternity is rewritten yet again... and who is able to know it? i am waiting with bated breath to see how He will show Himself holy and omnipotent. how i love to trust Him... because i am His, and He is mine. i am in awe that His hand is so active in my life. I am rightfully saddened of the possibility of my ego and vanity running amok when i see Him moving mountains, parting seas, so to speak, all on my behalf.

i am quite breathless with anticipation that He loves me so. i want to run to Him and jump in His mighty and strong arms-- my Father, my own true Beloved.

---yss

July 10, 1998

we are not as strong as we think we are. all too often we are choking on the fumes of our raging egos while whispering "peace, peace..." somewhere it is written: only the pure in heart shall see God (Blessed are the pure in heart...--Jesus)(Purity of heart is to will one thing...--Kierkegaard). yet, faith without works is like a song you can't sing.

i am staying with friends --far, far from my lovely lake; nurturing my health, writing my new book, hopefully helping and blessing them.

on this night, however, i have left the city and the home of my friends down in the valley. i am tucked away, up high in the mountains in the most peaceful and healing hide-away; harmony healer's double-dome-forest-home; next door to the small, single dome of jupiter, a beautiful artist in woodshedding (artistic development). jupiter's dome is magnificently cluttered with his art --inside and outside --all resting at the toes of stately, comely redwoods, no less majestic because i have never before seen redwoods in their natural habitat. and he is here, now, playing the piano-forte, as i write these words to you.

i had quite forgotten, if ever i knew, how crushingly beautiful this world can be. by means of surrender, i find that i am entering into the Fellowship of His Suffering. in these mountains' grandeur, at long last, i can hold out my withered soul... just waiting, wanting to be touched, healed... so weary... but nothing is beyond Him. even me.

may i cause no more harm; may i bring only peace and hope and mercy and healing and love; may i take nothing, ask nothing, be nothing --give everything --unconditionally. may i honor my Beloved at all times and you as well.

---yss

June 18, 1998

so, hmmm; well i agreed to keep my pages up; you agreed to pray lots more for me.... right? i am still awed over the amount of email and the things you said. you'll never guess, of course, how many said something like: "you can't take down your webpages, cause real redheads never quit!" try to guess how many said something similar to: "if you take down your website, then you not a redhead, you are a blonde. because only a blonde would kill such a great thing." and then there were those *two or three* of you who mentioned something about how much i talk on and on about faith, etc. and where is my faith if my decision is to take it all down...

but my all-time favorite was from jim. he got me on all three counts!!

also, i finally got the river poems up... i really love this, and mykl said i could do it this way, so tell me what you think (as if you weren't already planning to do so ).

i also posted a letter from larry; and one from daniel (which is just pure vanity on my part cuz i won't let you see what i wrote back to him!!)

the last thing i have managed to get up there into cyberspace is a subscription form for those of you who are part of my reveiw team. i hope to start posting portions of the new novel soon, and a subscription list is a lot easier (remember i'm a cripple) than the way we used to do it. i also thought it would be a neat-o, keen-o way to sneak in prayer requests .

johnny and danny (my most wonderfulest grandsons) i am almost ready to send your books to you. i thought maybe you would like to see them here too, but you can send me an email and say yes or no... nana really does love you and i think about you all the time!

anyway, i'll be seeing a *Hopkins* neurosurgeon tomorrow, so please don't complain about so little going up... (isn't this the year to be extra kind to daunted redheads?) i really am doing the best i can... i'm even teaching myself how to write with my left hand because the right one is not any too happy to have to do much of anything.

perhaps the best thing i want to say is this:

may the hand of The Eternal always be on you, to carry you, and strengthen you, and encourage you. may you know in the deepest part of your soul and spirit and mind how rich, how vast, and how perfect is His tender loving care for you. may you be covered with His fingerprints, so that His identity on you strikes a chill of the Blood in the heart of that sly dog, our enemy, who ever seeks our ruin.

thank you for loving me.

& nbsp;& nbsp;& nbsp;--yss

June 7, 1998

ok, ok, i give up. please please don't send me any more "negative" email. remember, i'm a & nbsp;cripple& nbsp; now. when i am able, i'll tell you tell you about some of the letters you sent to me.

i do have lots more to say and show you, but right now, i have to rest. ya know, i really do love and appreciate you and your caring love for me.

---yss

April 24, 1998

well hello hello... i know what you're sayin': "at last, an update!" well, you could help me out of my pressure-cooker by sending up a lot more prayers!!

IMPORTANT: i am taking down my website in a few weeks!

there has been so much tragedy and grave difficulties to live through. i want you to know that i really appreciate your letters; you are so kind and i am so thankful and grateful for your prayers.

my twin sister came to see me. she's much too beautiful, and so creative.

i'll answer some of your questions here if you forgive me for not responding individually.

the artwork you see around here is mostly mine... you should recognize some great art by Alma Tadema and Waterhouse, and others. although i did make some changes... well, they obviously made a mistake and failed to realize that redhair makes great art greater and beautiful women beautifuller.

you are welcome to copy and use my artwork, just memorialized me (since i'll be sans-website). i do not sell prints, however, if you download the art you want, and take it to a service bureau they can output a print of any size for you. if you want to use my words, ask me first, telling me where, how, and why. thanks.

i wrote a poem when i was sick. mykl sent me some truly exquisite new poetry. other poetry sent to me as well as all the belles lettres and bon mots will soon be published at the webqueen's mocha modem cafe.

i've had several wonderful conversations with my sherpa, and i even did some thinking... the ebenezer and the ponderosities may soon appear on an e-zine -- not run by me. i'll let you know.

the webqueen's mocha modem cafe is partly open, at least the chat board works. that will stay up, but someone else will take care of it. it will have some really neat, fun stuff, and femnet.

i've been thinking about camping out on hugh ross' doorstep after i read his last book. but then i thought that was kinda tacky, so i decided to write a new novel using those ideas... they blend with ideas i already had, so this should be real interesting!!

i know you are wondering why i am taking down my website. i have many reasons, not the least of which is the problem with my arms. i hope you have enjoyed this place as much as i enjoyed making it.

God bless y'all really good!

--yss

February 29, 1998

hmmmm, i see that my "friend" blabbed to the whole world that i was sick. actually, i really did appreciate your calls and letters. there were two days when i was certain i would get to go home before any of you. so you prayed me back, eh!?!

one of my hard disks crashed, and i (was sick about it) had to reformat it completely. i lost all the poetry submissions i was so far behind in posting. please be kind (remember how sick i was before you start yellin') and send it to me again. that is, if you still want me to post it.

i really enjoy your letters. they mean so much to me. especially the ones that effuse compliments. i had an interesting email conversation with john, about self esteem... which eluded me for too many years.

i have not had time to do much with my personal site. but from your letters, i am so happy that you enjoy it. recently, i felt so sad about the weary, joyless, emptyness that crowds so many; about the extraordinarily heavy burdens some of us carry. i wanted so much to lighten the load in some way. i have written many blessings over the last couple of years. so i put some of them up for you on my faith page. i will add to them, as time permits.

i have some more stones for my ebenezer, but not the time to format them and put them up for you. do you have an ebenezer? something by which you recall the riches He has showered upon you. our enemy will steal their memory from us so subtley, we won't see it leave. i encourage you to make your own ebenezer. i hope to put up more stones soon.

i had some really wonderful poetry for you, and some haiku, but my computer fried it all, so i do hope those of you who sent them to me will resend them.

--yss

Q-Notes, the first 100 years:

2003

2002

2001

2000

1999

1998

1997

1996

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