i must admit, checking email to find 56 messages from one person
was a little chin dropper....;-)
i am sick tonight. how kind and generous of my sweet Beloved, who knew i
was so weary with the dregs of perseverence and endurance (not to mention
being sick). i am such a baby when i am sick. i just want to crawl into
bed and be pampered. i want to whine and snif and have my love hold me and
tell me everything will be all right... and maybe a kiss on my cheek...
(sigh)
thanks for your "barrage" it truly was welcome. i will respond better when
i am better.
blessings to you philip, for blessing me tonight.
and so i did.....
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Solaz,
http://www.webqueen.net/solaz/thoughts.shtml
This precious page of your thoughts shames me in so many ways
and even angers me inside for burying my talents and my faith.
Moreover, your reference to J.I Packer just about did me in.
I had purposed to study at his feet at regent theological
seminary in Vancouver B.C. to complete my Masters in Theology.
Never made it back, although I did wander the grounds and
ponder the undertaking. I permitted other co dependent needs
to be satisfied instead. Years of since past. Moreover, years
have past since the dissolution of my own marriage. Why am I
telling you all of this? Oh yeah, it is this page of yours
that brought more conscious awareness and affirmation that
today I know I am on the right path.
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i am breathless.... such accolades.
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As you so eloquently affirmed;
"no pain can compare to that which we experience in the place where we
love.for it is love itself that breaks us. the cost, the expense, the
toll, is a constant challenge to our capacity to love and be loved. in
marriage, our vulnerabilities cannot be hidden; they are exposed, exalted
and exploited. this is too much for some."
These truths are today self evident for me. Ten years of separation
has taken its toll. However, the growth I have experienced has
been exponential, especially during these past four years. Now
I am about to claim my individuality and go back to school.
Technical writing and Web Mastery are now my focus. Moreover,
the rekindling of my faith. Not in word but rather in deed, the
conscious practice of the Presence of God and communion with
his Messiah. I am convinced you are a Celtic poet at heart
and your devotion to your Creator and His Messiah are powerfully
evident. I am mindful of the words of a professor who said:
"nothing learned except as thoughts are provoked." Indeed you
have provoked my thinking. For crying out loud I have been
lost among reading your entire Web entourage this whole evening.
Gadzooks! Haven't encountered this much quality in a long time.
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i am so touched. it is the result of a compulsive writer. i couldn't NOT
write. it is the gift of my Beloved. i read everything; even box labels. i
write everywhere. i carry a blank book with me at all times, because i
cannot stop writing. it burns in me like the breath that flows in and out
of my lungs.
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Incidentally, I found you via a Technical Writers Page just for
information and considered your Web Page to be a fine study for me.
Was I ever in for a suprise! Thank you for sharing your faith and
your sincere devotion and your poetic heart.
I certainly consider you a remarkable woman and not a creation of
your own doing obviously. It is evident God has blessed you richly
in diverse ways given His Angels charge over you and a hedge of thorns
around you to keep you from the fiery darts of the evil one. I feel
honoured to have witnessed your faith and personally edified as a
consequence.
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thank you so much philip. life is so hard, and none of us get the love and
respect we want let alone that which we need to blossom as He intended. it
is my hope that my writing and art are able to puff an occaisonal "aha!"
into otherwise torn and tattered lives. our enemy is so subtle and far
more clever than we ever imagine. please hold me in prayer.
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Now if I can go and do likewise for others, with the Father's blessing of
course. God grant me courage!
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ahh, my friend and brother, has He not already done so?
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"The eyes of the Lord roam to and fro upon the face of the earth
seeking to make known His power toward those who's hearts are
upright toward Him."
Sincerely,
Philip
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i pray His eyes are on me... and you... and all our bothers and sisters
who cannot breathe without Him. how i love Him.
is it very cold where you live?
always hiding in Jesus,
solaz, queenofeverything
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