HOTLINES
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If you are in an abusive or violent situation, have been abused, or if you have a friend or know of someone in a violent or abusive situation,
you can help them find the help they need.
HOTLINES |
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I am a survivor...(so what, isn't everyone?)
well, no... some of us don't survive..
sometimes i think about those words,i am a survivor and i always remember a former therapist telling me that the snake told her "with tears in his eyes, how horrible he felt because of the things he said and did to you, the names he called you, the way he treated you, that he had devastated you... " "But i told him," she went on, " oh no! never! she's a survivor... no one will ever devastate her... she's much stronger than even she knows. she will always survive. no one will ever devastate her..."
is that a compliment? i'm not sure... do i want others to think of me this way? the truth is, he very nearly did devastate me. the snake to whom i was married, is permeated with evil (as all snakes are) and they will eventually be consumed by it.
the pages and links you find here, are meant for your comfort, healing, and education; because i could not talk about the things my grandfather, step-father, husband did, to me, to my daughters -- until someone else spoke, teaching me that i was not the only one... the only woman who had permitted a man, a snake, to do unspeakable things to her and her children. it took years of therapy, years of tears, constant support of loving friends, and ever turning and yielding to the God of true grace and healing.
my "parental family" were mostly alcoholics and borderline personalities. sexual abuse of women and children was all too common. i separated myself from them so that i could be healed. i have changed dramatically. i am not the woman they villified and pilloried for not being like them, not accepting the incest as a normal part of life and "forgetting," then behaving as if no wrong had occurred.
healing has brought me to a place so far from abusers, so strong, so powerfully opposed to abuse in any disguise. but the very best news i have for you is this: i have walked away from the after-effects of abuse, away from the learned behaviors that drew abusers to me, and i have learned how to embrace an unconditional love, how to give this unconditional love without accepting abuse, and how to treat all others with respect without accepting their "labels" for me, or their wrong behaviors toward me.
here is a partial list of books i recommend for your healing. there are many others at amazon.com:
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 for male victims |
for counselors |
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order these and similar books from amazon.com
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| i truly regret that these pages are still under construction. please forgive me, and bear with me. |
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RAINN founded by Tori Amos | |
| HOTLINES | Surviving Abuse and Violence |
| Support Centers | the following topics will soon be added: |
| sisters | the high cost of recovery |
| brothers | getting your emotions back |
| mothers | revenge vs. forgiveness |
| fathers | letting go of defense mechanisms |
| other people | learning to communicate without fear |
| does God care? | telling your story--ways we write about it |
This Survivor's Line
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you should go see her
you know how cranky she gets when you don't call or write
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